God Help Me

I am being tossed by the storm a lot today. I have heard evangelists and preachers talk about controlling your emotions. I could really benefit from that right now. I know part of my struggle in this moment is I am done with where I work. I am also very excited to start my new job. I anticipated this and have been trying to read more and meditate more to compensate for this feeling. I liken it to a prisoner coming up on release. You are so excited about what freedom brings you let the emotions get the best of you and sometimes get in your way.

The ante has been upped the last couple of days. My co-worker is out due to health issues. The problem is there is no one to fill in for her. I have been pulled from pillar to post with no help whatsoever. It is an exercise in frustration.

Then I get a call that there is an unpaid tax bill…really? Some mess up with the assessment from a few years ago that is going to cost money. Why it when they make a mistake like that we get hit with the nasty bills? Being honest, I was in tears talking to the assessor on the phone. I am paying my tithe. We are working to get our financial house in order. I am serving. I am being obedient, as far as I know, and when I recognize disobedience I work to correct it. I cried in my office out of frustration and the overwhelming wave of defeat that was pounding against me.

In that moment, in the midst of phone calls and work demands I simply whispered…"God help me". It was not sarcasm, it was a short almost desperate prayer. Even as I sat there in my overwhelmed state, God helped me. First, a gentleman who works for one of the insurance companies stopped in. He is a person of faith. We often share thoughts over worship music, both being Elevation Worship fans. It is not deep faith conversation but it was the breath of being in the presence of someone who believes. It changes the atmosphere.

Then, even before the one gentleman left, another lady walked in that I know from being a field adjuster. She is a godly woman who always brightens my day. She and her husband are in ministry. They are people of faith. Our little visit only lasted a few minutes but we shared testimonies of healing. We praised God for being so good. It was a brief time of fellowship, but it made ALL the difference. Praise and worship flowed between us. The hugs helped a ton too.

God knows what we need. I needed a warm hug from a like-minded believer. I needed to talk about how good God is to me and to others. I needed to hear testimony that my faith would be strengthened. Things are not better at work, but things are better IN ME because HE is in me.

I have reached out to other believers more than I ever did before this year. I have also grown more in this year than ever before. People you need fellowship. You need people to tell your testimonies too and to be able to hear theirs. You need the friend that will help you focus on scripture when what you really want to do is complain.

Today, I stood in a storm. I bent and shook…but my faith did not fail.