Who I Am

I am still on a journey discovering who I am. I mean who I really am in Christ. The person God made me to be. I have grasped more understanding of this in the last few weeks than ever before in my life. Then today I see this image on Facebook. (Sorry cannot provide a credit, but it is not my mine.)

If you read my posts from the past, I spent a fair amount of time diminishing my opinions and knowledge of certain areas. I do not want to be arrogant, but I am also not meant to make myself small. I am realizing that making ourselves small is a trick of the enemy.

Who I Am Not

I am not a victim. Yes, at times life nearly broke me, but I am not a victim. I am victorious. I am more than a conqueror because God said so. You may not be able to see the miracles unfolding in my life yet, but make no mistake they are unfolding. My body is healing. My children are being ministered too by loved ones and strangers...they will be saved, because God's Word says my children are a treasure.

I am not the bottom of the deck, because God's Word says I am the head and not the tail. I am a slave no more because I have freedom n Christ. I am not sick, feeble, or falling apart...because God is the strength of my life. I am not second best, inferior, or subject to lack in any area of my life. My blessings are being manifested daily and will continue to grow as I grow in Christ.

Who I AM

I am a woman, of a certain age (always wanted to use that phrase), with above average intelligence. I have a knack for writing and learning new things. I am an excellent student. I cook well, maybe too well if you look at the scale in my house. I like things in a measure of organized chaos. I am good with procedure and process, as long as there is a little room for fluidity. I am funny and love to laugh. Sometimes my jokes/puns are a little cerebral but they make me laugh. I am capable of singing rather well. I have a natural ability to deescalate situations with most people...it was an invaluable asset when I was an officer. I enjoy serving others. I am a leader capable of being a team player. My list of successes in the things I excel at is significant. The trials of my life have given me strength and God is using those experiences to connect with others. My years of struggle, paint and so on are not in vain - I am using those experiences to connect with people who feel unloved, unseen and do not trust others.

I AM a woman of God. I pray everyday, many times a day. When things get intense you might find me in a bathroom stall thanking God for the strength to handle the situation in the moment. I stand on a firm foundation and as my roots grow deeper I will be shaken less and less every passing day till the mighty raging storms are no more than a gentle breeze against my brow.

I know my Mom is reading this and adding to the list in her head. Others always see us more clearly than we see ourselves, but God sees us clearest of all. God knit me together, He created me...every gift I have or develop are gifts from God. I am not ashamed of the Gospel or of the gifts God has given me.

Fresh Fire

I've never known anything but Pentecostal Holiness being raised in the Church of God. I grew up hearing about Holy Spirit Fire, but never experiencing it. Since being back in church, I have seen it and felt the emotional wave that goes with a Holy Ghost meeting. However, in the last few weeks the fire that has kindled in my being. It has surprised me in the best of ways. My prayers have changed. My words have changed. That idea of closer in and higher up, is not something I hope, it is something I strive for daily.

I wrote three words in the front of my planner at the beginning of 2018: earnest, fervent and faith. Little by little they have ignited and come to life in my person. Faint little embers are growing into a consuming fire. I have had this anticipation all year that something major was coming. Constantly feeling like I am on the cusp of...well of something. It is already here, I just have to recognize it and receive it. Realizing that who I am is a woman of God being developed to take the kingdom of darkness by storm.

Fresh Fire.