Legalistically Speaking

As Christians, we sometimes fall into this ugly cycle of legalism. We may not go to the extremes we have read and heard about from the Old Testament, but we find something and we hang on it.

The basis of the relationship with God is love. Love does not mean there is no rule book, it means there is grace. With God there is also mercy. If you have children you may be able to better relate. We give our kids rules and sometimes bend the rules or forgive an infraction of those rules. It is the grace and the mercy with have with our children that pulls that response out of us.

On the flip side you can be strict in your adherence to the rules. It can get ugly when you are so stuck to the rules that grace and mercy disappear. Times when the punishment for an infraction exceeds the purpose of the rule. Such as cleaning your plate or your room.

These are somewhat soft examples, but I want you to relate - not judge.

If you are a regular reader or if you attend church with me you know we do a corporate fast at the beginning of the year. We are also doing one now that started on July 30. Fasting is biblical and I know, from experience, that it opens doors for breakthrough. That is why I was excited to start the fast. I was aiming to go the full 21 days - no food. I did not blog about it because I wanted this to be a quiet time dedicated to my relationship with God. I did not want it to become an unintentional show of "Sister Suzy Christian". This was between God and I.

The 3rd day of the fast I was at work having severe dizzy spells. I almost collapsed. It was to the point I had my husband come pick me up at work and I live 10 minutes from my job. I was in bad shape: headache, nausea, chills, but no real hunger.

Once home, my dear husband, gently tells me that I am in no shape to try a full fast and should consider the 6 AM to 6 PM option or the select days. I know he meant well; however, it ticked me off. This is as action of faith. Through Christ I can do anything and about half a dozen other thoughts and mixtures of scriptures poured through my mind.

Here is the real issue. I was being legalistic about my fasting. See, I generally do not eat breakfast and lunch is sort of hit or miss. So how is a 6 AM to 6 PM fast really a fast for me? I was getting caught up on the action and beating myself up for giving in and eating when I literally could not function.

See that picture above PRAYER & fasting is all it states. It took me a few days for that to really sink in. I ended up at the doctor last Thursday. My iron was depleted and I have struggled with anemia for years. The doctor emphatically told me I had to eat and hyper dose on a specific assortment of vitamins and minerals. Almost a week later and I feel like myself again.

During breakfast time, which I am still not eating, I am diving into God's word and praying. At lunchtime, whether or not I eat, I am dedicating the bulk of that time to God. It is not what I wanted to do, but it is still focusing on God. I am going to resume the fast with 6 AM to 6 PM and perhaps I can finish the last week with a full fast. That is between God and I, you do not really need to know that.

Sometimes, I have to remind myself I am dealing with God who loves me. He knows my heart and my mind...better than I do. I do not have to pick apart every little thing. I do not have to be perfect. Being perfect is HIS job, not mine. Intimacy with God is my desire, that is the whole purpose.

 

Even our pastors have told us not everyone is going to do a full fast. They do not pressure anyone to do a full fast. This was a convoluted expectation I put on myself. Maybe a little of  my competitive nature because my husband went 18 days at the beginning of the year and I only went 5. That is not what it is about. It is not a hunger strike. It is focusing on God. Focusing on my relationship with Him.

 

Praise God that he reveals such truths to us when we seek Him.