Waiting...

The second most frustrating thing I experienced as a probation officer was the phenomenon of “hurry up and wait”. You push to process paperwork, to dot “I’s” and cross “t’s” only to sit and twiddle your thumbs waiting for the thing you prepared for to happen.

We tend to perceive all as hurry up and wait in our faith too. We pray about something. We study our bibles. and we don’t see the results in what we perceive as the appropriate time frame. We humans get pretty arrogant about all the things we think we know. I promise, I have my share of times leading this particular parade.

God ALWAYS answers prayer. Sometimes it is the yes that we are believing for in the depths of our heart. Sometimes it is no, because God’s plans are better than ours. Sometimes it is wait and even more times, God changes our hearts and minds. Psalm 27:14 encourages us to “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” This is certainly a work in progress for me

I have borne witness to friends earnest prayers for spouses, children, healing of loved ones or salvation of loved ones. I have stood with them in prayer for those petitions. They have also witnessed the same in me. I do not know what to say other than to have faith and believe God has this. Then last night it occurred to me that we have to trust God for the answer that is best for us. We get so wrapped up in claiming our desire that sometimes we lose sight of God’s greater wisdom. God promises us abundant lives, not easy ones. We are going to have struggles, that is how we grow.

 "Unanswered Prayers"

For example, we earnestly prayed in agreement with others for a specific job for my husband. I cannot begin to express the disappointment when we learned he was not selected. Shortly after what we perceived as a gut punch disappointment, turned out to be a blessing. I have learned since, had he been selected, he would have missed our youngest son’s graduation.

Sometime before the new year I began to pray for a daughter. It is a long time hidden desire of my heart to have a daughter with my husband. I have been praying, taking prenatal vitamins, making wish lists and even repainted the room that would be a nursery. In the last two weeks, I changed how I was praying. I still yearn for Scarlet Joi (the name I picked for my daughter) but I am praying for the Spirit to lead me. If a daughter is God’s plan for me at this stage of my life, nothing can stop that from happening. If what is best for me is to be a happy Grandma and enjoy my remaining youth with my husband, that is a blessing too. Whether the answer to my prayer is yes or no, I can’t lose because my heavenly Father is doing what is best for me.

Sometimes the no or the  message to wait is not as clear. I am having to lean into my faith for the Cambodia trip. My deadline for a major deposit is April 15^th and I am still $1000 short. It is not for lack of trying to raise the funds. I keep having to stop and pray to keep panic away from my situation. God has removed many obstacles already for this trip so I KNOW it is His will for me to go. Where he guides, he provides. In my limited human nature I revert to, “Why can’t we handle it now?” There is something for me to learn in this process, I just do not see it yet.

Joy Comes In The Morning

(Everything prior to this section was written yesterday, Monday.)

This morning I open my devotional and it slaps me in the face. I am reading through “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren. My mother gave it to me years ago, when my boys were young and I was completely lost in sin. I half read it back then but now I am more than halfway through. Today’s passage spoke of cultivating the fruits of the Spirit. It went deeper and stated to cultivate love, you have to be put in a position to love the unlovely. To cultivate patience, your patience has to be tested. When I was a girl I remember my Mom and Granny telling me not to pray for patience, because it would be tested. Hindsight, I guess that was sort of the purpose...and we missed it.

 

We always think of cultivating the Fruit of the Spirit by reading the Word, prayer, fellowship and such. All of those are necessary but how can I tell you I am patient, if I have never been pushed. How can I tell you I am peaceful, unless I have struggled and overcome war in my spirit. It just made a lot of sense to me. I still want to know why things can't happen NOW. Maybe, just maybe, if I would take the hint that my patience is being cultivated, things would move more swiftly.

Maybe that is the answer for my friends who are praying for things. Maybe, God is trying to cultivate something in them and the light bulb has not popped on yet. The challenge is to see what we need to learn from these prayers we have deemed unanswered. Are we ready for what we have been praying for? What do we need to do to prepare to receive what we are petitioning God for? From God's view, is that the best thing for us? It may be something good...wonderful even; like a spouse, a child, or some material wish. It's not anything bad or evil...it is just not what is best for us.