Be Still, Already
I have a desk calendar by Sarah Young at work. Much like the
devotional book my husband and I share every morning, this too tends to speak
to my situation on a daily basis. Today, well, today it screamed at me! “I will
fight for you; you need only to be still.” That is how it opens. The devotion
urges me to rest in my heavenly Father. That caught my attention but let me
share the second half, this devotion really hits home for me. If I am really
honest I hear this in my head, spoken in the voice of my spiritual mother,
Momma Joi.
“Quieting your body
is somewhat challenging for you, but stilling your mind may often seem
downright impossible. In your striving to feel secure, you have relied too
heavily on your own thinking. This struggle to be in control has elevated your
mind to a position of autonomy. So you need the intervention of the Holy
Spirit. Ask Him to control your mind more and more-soothing you from the inside
out. Take time to rest in the shadow of
the Almighty while I fight for you.” (Young, 2012)
Want to know to two hardest things I do in relation to my
faith: 1. Leaving things in God’s hands and 2. Fasting. I can and have fasted,
in fact we fast weekly but most of the time I only fast the 6am to 6pm. There
is no shame in a partial fast, but why does it seem so difficult for me? I
would love to spout out some eloquent excuse that gives some biological reason
I need to eat, but the fact is even the fasting goes back to my brain.
“This struggle to be in control has elevated your mind to a
position of autonomy.” I have never been very confident of my appearance, so I
put most of my confidence in my brain. Be it my ability to be a solid student
or creating things in verse, I held to intellect, brain power as my validation.
(It also made me often sound like an arrogant jerk.) Let’s consider autonomy
for a moment. Sounds pretty sophisticated and positive in most cases but when
we talk about our faith…autonomy is fatal. Autonomy is “freedom from external control or influence; independence.”
Those who are driven, tend
to be somewhat autonomous. I can’t help but think I am still discovering the
depth of Ms. Joi’s word of admonition regarding me and “drive”. I find the more
I pray and the more I read the word, the easier it is to take my hands off the
steering wheel. I am also learning to be honest with God. It’s not easy for me
sometimes, but what a difference it makes.
God already knows what I
think and feel. The act of telling Him that I am frustrated or feel passed over
changes the dynamic. In that admission, I am able to open myself to the Spirit’s
ministry. God meets us where we are and sometimes that is in the middle of a
misguided rant that rivals the best toddler fit. I do many things now to quiet
my mind and allow me to focus on God and sometimes just to enjoy stillness. I
am learning that I don’t have to act like nothing bothers me. I do not have to
pretend that everything is well. I have to speak in faith, act in faith and be
honest with God so He can navigate me through whatever struggle I may be
facing.
We ALL have moments. You
can look at the heroes of the Bible, the men known as Friends of God, and they
struggled with doubt, frustration and times of horrible judgement or succumbing
to temptation. Many of them argued with God…Abraham negotiated with God over
Sodom and Gomorrah, Jacob wrestled with God, and Moses tried to tell God what
he couldn’t do. None of that stopped God from blessing them and using them. My “moments”
will not prevent God from using or blessing me, because I seek Him.
Stop trying to be
autonomous. Life is too big for us to try and control it. The battle is too big
for you and me, but for God it is nothing. So, let’s let God be God and stop
trying to take things off his plate.
Young, S. (2012). Jesus Today. Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson.
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