He Heals the Brokenhearted

Today my heart was broken by someone very close to me. They left. They simply packed up and walked away. I'm okay with them leaving. In fact, in the big picture it was probably for the best. He was close to being suspended and/or fired from his job for a host of reasons. He was reaching for things of the world instead of things of God...which always creates turmoil. The way he left is what breaks my heart. Without a word.

Different Kind of Sorrow

There is no promise of an easy life in the Bible. What is does say in Matthew 11:30 is, "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." In this moment of heartbreak, I finally understand how that scripture applies to my life...our lives. When I have dealt with similar heartbreak in the past, it shattered me. Yes, I ate cookies and watched a movie this afternoon, but I did not fall into a pit of despair. The burden of my sorrow is lighter. Each time his actions are coming to mind I say a prayer. A prayer for his protection. A prayer for God to direct and bless him. A prayer for God to take the feelings of hurt and betrayal from me. 

I imagine Jesus, as he was being betrayed and denied by those he loved best. Those closest to him either turned away or turned against him. Jesus knows this pain better than anyone. Yet, Jesus takes all those pains away with compassion that far exceeds what most of us can fathom. In return, we have peace.

Peace that surpasses understanding is a little clearer to me in the light of my circumstances. It makes no sense for me to be calm. The world says I should be angry. I am not angry. I do not want to "get even". I just want him to find his purpose in Christ and be the man he is capable of being. He has  a good heart, but a good heart without Christ will always flounder under pressure.

God Is My Refuge

Psalm 91:2 "I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust." I cannot tell you why these things happen. I do know that when we shut one avenue of attack from the devil, he looks for another. Hence, the whole seeking whom he may devour verse. The Lord is my refuge. The more I study, the more I pray...the more I seek Him, the less these things hurt. I don't blame this person, I blame the devil who is using and abusing him. 

Jesus had his heart broken, so he really does understand. He loves me and as I seek a closer walk with the Lord, my heart break is healed. My heart is made new, as I am a new creation in the Father. My wounds are bound up, because His words says they are.

Angels Unaware

I grew up hearing my Mother talk of angels unaware. It is a subject that always makes me think of the Christmas story of Conrad, sometimes called the Christmas Guest.. This man was waiting to meet the Lord and three strangers graced his door instead. When praying later, the Lord reveals that in ministering to these strangers, Conrad had indeed been visited by the Lord.

Kara is not an angel with wings and a halo. She is daughter, wife and mother that goes to church with me. We do not know each other very well. Yet, she is the one that I wrote about comforting me when I had my baby shower meltdown last year. I do not believe it was coincidence that when I ran out for cookies (yes I caved, I carbed) she was standing in the checkout line behind me. It was short (non-tearful) exchange. A warm smile and a hug that reassured me. It was what I needed in that moment. This is the third or fourth time Kara has been there by divine intervention.  

I share this only to tell you, God knows what he is doing. Even when it befuddles me in every way...God knows what he is doing far better than I do. The more my faith and trust grow the more evidence I see of his planning being far beyond what I can imagine or contrive. That makes letting go a little easier.

As I prepare for bed tonight, I pray for wisdom. Wisdom for how to pray. Wisdom for understanding the word. I pray grace, mercy and protection over the one who hurt my heart. I forgive him, because he has no idea the impact of his impulsive actions and I love him. I forgive and love him, because one day he too will hit a point where God is his only choice. Until then, I take him as he is. I meet him where he is. I love him, as he is. After all, that is what Jesus expects of us. Jesus met us where we are and we cannot do any less.