Leaving Zoar

In the past, I have spent time in my blog reflecting on the weekly sermons at my church. I used it as an opportunity to reflect and share. In recent months, my insight has been shaded with heartache, fear, and anxiety. It has felt like the bigger I have dream, the smaller I have felt. Overwhelming, crippling, powerless insignificance.

At the risk of becoming a sermon commentator, I intend to return to writing about how weekly sermons speak to me and the insights I draw from them. I pray it ministers to you, but honestly...this process is about my personal walk of faith, how God uses it beyond me is in His hands.

Prayer & Fasting Part II

Today, Pastor Luke, picked up on our series "Prayer & Fasting". We are preparing for the beginning of the year 21 day fast. As he spoke about the different methods in which we could participate in the fast, a thought occurred to me. Fasting is a true hunger and thirst for righteousness. Matthew 5:6 says, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." Considering that fasting and prayer are scriptural keys to breakthrough, this scripture ties in directly to the approaching fast and it's purpose for me...break through.

Pastor went on to talk about Lot. You know the nephew of Abraham whose wife turned into a pillar of salt cause she looked back as Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed. If you go and read Genesis 19, you find that angels were sent to guide Lot and his family out of the city and into the mountains. His sons-in-law ignored the warning. Lot left with his wife and daughters and his wife did not last long with that pillar of salt business. Before leaving the city, Lot negotiated with the Angels. He did not want to go to the mountains. Different translations word it differently but the crux of it, he was scared. He said he would surely die if he journeyed to the mountains. (Sounds like me looking at a treadmill.) Lot's request was granted and he was allowed to go to the town of Zoar. As the rest of the history unfolds, Lot is too timid to enter Zoar and ends up in a cave where family dynamics take a disturbing turn.

Zoar means insignificant in Hebrew. Think a little deeper and visit Miriam-Webster with me. The top definitions for insignificant: a : lacking meaning or import b : not worth considering : unimportant c : lacking weight, position, or influence : contemptible. If you jump to the meaning of contemptible the second entry is obsolete.

Back to Lot for a few moments. We hear about mountain top experiences in Christian circles all the time. Amazing things happen on mountain tops. If Lot would have obeyed instead of compromising with God...what outcome would have been achieved. Pretty sure his family dynamics with his daughters would not have warped as they did. He refused something challenging and settled for insignificance. He chose to become obsolete.

To grow in God, to mature in faith we have to move upward. There is not a lateral entry program to become mature in Christ. We have to push. Push through our fears, anxiety, and our logic with FAITH. Whatever obstacle we encounter, in faith with God we overcome it. Being more than a conqueror in Christ, requires us to be in Christ and to be obedient to the will of God.

Packing For the Mountain Path

I have been hanging out in Zoar for way too long. All my vibrato about "ENOUGH" and standing firm has been an effort to psych myself into where I felt I should be. Sort of a fake it till you make it approach. That does not work because it is flesh, not spirit. 

I once read that if your prayers do not scare you, you are not praying right. I also read that if your prayers were all answered and no one's life changed but yours...you are missing the point. Task one is pulling back the ideas I tucked away. Dusting them off and letting God lead me. Some of these feel overwhelming and my mind still asks, "who are you to lead this". I have dreams, visions of purpose in ministry that I shy away from or offer as suggestions to others because I have felt insignificant to the task. Next is praying the prayers that make my heart skip a beat and my flesh ask, "what did you just speak in faith". 

This can't just be about my prayers. I am fasting in January for clarity, breakthrough and spiritual direction. My husband wants to hike a 72 mile rail trail in 2018. (side note - we do not hike) Not sure about all 72 miles, but we will tackle part of that trail together and in time we will hike the whole trail. In my flesh the Fast, the hike and the mission to Cambodia scare me. What each of these mean in preparation, discipline and most of all faith overwhelms me. As God's child, all this and much more is mine. I just have to step out in faith and trust my God to uphold me with his righteous right hand.

As we approach 2018, join me in leaving Zoar behind. We are not obsolete or insignificant, we belong to God. Yes & Amen!