It's Just a Crush...or Is It?
Working with teenagers, I find myself looking back at the things I did or did not do as a teenager. Like most of my girls, I was a little boy crazy. (Keep in mind the girls I work with are 12 to 14, 7th and 8th grade). Listening to them chat away about the boys they like, I found myself thinking about my school girl crush.
Cue wind machine and power 80's ballad. My school girl crush went from elementary school into high school. It was the boy next door. Of course, he happened to be the most attractive boy in our neighborhood, school and back then I am sure I thought the world. Looking back, I realize how incredibly foolish my behavior was. I mean everyone knew I had a crush on Sonny, the boy next door. (Seriously, I watched the boy mow the grass...pathetic I tell you.)
Here is the thing. The man I am happily married to today is the boy Sonny was in my mind. Sonny intervened more than once with school bullies, to include his own younger brother. He was kind and patient. When I walked home from the bus in the rain, he stopped to drive me home. He was also responsible. Why he was playing golf in his backyard will forever be a mystery to me, but when his club went through the window of our house he immediately came over and addressed what he did.
He was a good all around guy, at least what I knew of him. Since I was struck with muteness in his presence I never really got to know the boy next door. However, in my very imaginative mind he was the very definition of charm, chivalry and classic good looks. Maybe I should have paid a little more attention to those qualities I like so much. It would have saved me dating a series of boys that were not nice, protective or kind.
Last week I celebrated 14 years of marriage to my husband, Joe. He supports and
protects me. He tolerates my quirkiness...which can honestly be annoying at times. He does acts of random kindness. All those qualities I attributed to my school girl crush are very evident in my husband.
I have spoke with the youth girls at church and with my small group of girls about 1 Corinthians 13. I have encouraged them to use this passage as the measure of the boy they like and even the friends they associate with. If each passage between 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 is true of your friends or the person you are attracted too, then see if it is true of you. I have put both my husband and myself through this filter. There are certainly areas for improvement, but overall it applies. The areas we are weak in, we focus on in prayer.
Deep inside I have always known what I should be looking for in my partner. I associated it with my school girl dream boy. I find myself cautioning girls to be careful who they are admiring and evaluating what they admire about them. We cannot lower our standards, just so we can have someone in our lives. I did that and it makes you miserable. Know what you want. Know how you want to be treated. Set your standards and stick to them.
Above all, put what your heart desires through the "scripture filter". This does not just apply to relationships, it applies to school, career, friends and every area of our lives. For relationships, I go to 1 Corinthians 13, but you have an entire Bible to use as a reference. Use your scripture filter in every aspect of your life.
Trust me...it will make your life far easier and much more full.
School Girl Crush
Cue wind machine and power 80's ballad. My school girl crush went from elementary school into high school. It was the boy next door. Of course, he happened to be the most attractive boy in our neighborhood, school and back then I am sure I thought the world. Looking back, I realize how incredibly foolish my behavior was. I mean everyone knew I had a crush on Sonny, the boy next door. (Seriously, I watched the boy mow the grass...pathetic I tell you.)
Here is the thing. The man I am happily married to today is the boy Sonny was in my mind. Sonny intervened more than once with school bullies, to include his own younger brother. He was kind and patient. When I walked home from the bus in the rain, he stopped to drive me home. He was also responsible. Why he was playing golf in his backyard will forever be a mystery to me, but when his club went through the window of our house he immediately came over and addressed what he did.
He was a good all around guy, at least what I knew of him. Since I was struck with muteness in his presence I never really got to know the boy next door. However, in my very imaginative mind he was the very definition of charm, chivalry and classic good looks. Maybe I should have paid a little more attention to those qualities I like so much. It would have saved me dating a series of boys that were not nice, protective or kind.
My Life Long Crush - Joe
Last week I celebrated 14 years of marriage to my husband, Joe. He supports and
protects me. He tolerates my quirkiness...which can honestly be annoying at times. He does acts of random kindness. All those qualities I attributed to my school girl crush are very evident in my husband.I have spoke with the youth girls at church and with my small group of girls about 1 Corinthians 13. I have encouraged them to use this passage as the measure of the boy they like and even the friends they associate with. If each passage between 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 is true of your friends or the person you are attracted too, then see if it is true of you. I have put both my husband and myself through this filter. There are certainly areas for improvement, but overall it applies. The areas we are weak in, we focus on in prayer.
Deep inside I have always known what I should be looking for in my partner. I associated it with my school girl dream boy. I find myself cautioning girls to be careful who they are admiring and evaluating what they admire about them. We cannot lower our standards, just so we can have someone in our lives. I did that and it makes you miserable. Know what you want. Know how you want to be treated. Set your standards and stick to them.
Above all, put what your heart desires through the "scripture filter". This does not just apply to relationships, it applies to school, career, friends and every area of our lives. For relationships, I go to 1 Corinthians 13, but you have an entire Bible to use as a reference. Use your scripture filter in every aspect of your life.Trust me...it will make your life far easier and much more full.
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